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Worries and Concerns

Wow, I haven't posted in a long time. But I wanted to make a post recently so yeah.

Lately I've been wondering, what am I doing with my life. Am I doing what I really want? What do I really want? I don't even know. Did I make the right choice to go into the faculty and major I did? Should I have gave it more thought and looked into all of it first? What really concerns me most is what will happen to me after I graduate. Will I be able to find a job? Will I be unemployed? Would I have to move outside the city? The province? The country? Will I even be able to graduate? These questions fill my head constantly and I'm still looking for the answers. I guess I may find out the answers to them in the future.... or I may never find out in this lifetime. But I do hope I am making the right choices now and that I won't regret them in the future. Everything is so concerning but what can I do? All I have the power to do is to try my best and pray for the best.

I won't say I want to live life with no regrets, that's impossible, I already regret so many things. But I want to live knowing I made decisions I can live with. Having regrets is a part of life, and instead of avoiding them, I would rather face and embrace them. Because without regrets, I won't know what I can do better next time.

I think having worries is a part of life as well. We will have worries in every stage of life. Will I get into university? Will I graduate? Will I get a job? Can I keep my job? The list is endless. Perhaps instead of worrying, I should focus in doing things to reduce that worry. Worrying does nothing, but, taking action can change that worry into something else. Even if that worry turns into sadness or disappointment, at the end of the day, I can at least say I tried and move on in life.

A Post Before Heading To Bed

There is sooooo much to do :( I can't believe the semester is already over..... finals seem, so close yet so far Q.Q There is waaaaaay too much hw to get done TT^TT I'm tired.... that's all for today xP

Copy Cats

Honestly, I hate copy cats. Don't get the wrong idea, I'm fine with clashing clothes with someone else or stuff like that. I mean like, everyone I know from high school were like "I'm going into sciences, I'm going to be a pharmacist, I want to be a dentist" and then there's me "I want to go into business", now everyone that was all "I'm going to be a pharmacist/dentist" is like "I'm going into business" and I"m like wtf. They then proceed to ask me which business I want to go into and I'm like ".... Marketing?" and surprise surprise, they're now going for Marketing and my very same minor..... WTF Okay people, make up your mind yourself, why are you following me? It really pisses me off sometimes.

I also had this person from elementary, she was like "I'm taking spring/summer courses cause I want the credits" me: Oh good for you. She then asks me what I'm going to do in the summer, I say I want two jobs, and she asks where I want to get my second job, and I say "the bank" she's all "Oh I want to work at the bank, which one?" and I'm like "..... the one by millwoods town centre?" and she's like "Oh I'll go there too" okay woman, you just said you were going to school wtf why you go where I go, there are SOOOOO many other places everywhere, why are you asking me what I'm doing then proceeding to follow me???? I just don't get it. Why is everyone I talk to who are from my high school classes asking me what I want to do, then proceeding to copy my every move?

I bet you're thinking "that's good? People want to be like you", no..... just no, =( because if everyone is doing what I planned on doing since 7th grade..... then it'll be the hardest thing in the world to find a job when I do graduate. =( I feel so upset everyday. I wish people were to follow what they want to do and stop asking me everything so they can just follow me.

Discouragement

You know, I hate it, I repeat, I HATE it, when people ask you. "what happens if you fail?" when someone asks me that, I just want to go "don't talk to me", like..... if you're going to be so caught up in the "what if you don't succeed" then you never will succeed in the first place. It's like "I want to get into med", their reply? "Oh, that's nice, but what if you fail?" Okay shut the **** up and don't talk to me again, I really hate those people, it's like they're discouraging you.

I want to go into business and this is a known fact around my friends, but some acquaintances are always asking me "what if you don't get in?" or "what if you fail five years in a row?" Okay F*** you and go away. Don't talk to me and I don't even want to see your face again. I hate people like that, "you have to think of plan B, it just might happen" well screw you, if you try hard enough you can achieve anything. Don't tell me to always think I'll fail. Most of my friends are nice and say "I'm sure you'll get in" yeah, that helps boosts your confidence and you'll work harder and it's good, I love my friends who always encourage me, I just hate those people who, before saying anything else, will always ask "what if you fail?" Just because your life sucks and is a failure doesn't mean mine has to be too. Don't talk to me, don't come near me.

I got so pissed off because this girl I knew since elementary came up to me at the bus stop and was like "You still want to get into business?" and I reply, "yeah" and first thing she replies "what if you fail? what if you never get in? will you keep trying even when you're 30?" Okay B**** shut up and leave. I don't want to see your face. I really hate these people =( and I hope they know their words are really discouraging and upsetting.

Inconsiderate People

Holy cow..... I was at work today, and since it's Good Friday, we close at 7. But what happens is, a bunch of people come in at 6:56 and even 7:03 I mean.... Really people? Do you not read the sign? It says we're closed. When the door is locked, some people knock real hard and even wait outside until you open the door. "I really need to get my medication" uhh.... I'm sorry sir, why didn't you come earlier.... >>

There was this lady, she came in at 7:05, talks on her phone, the pharmacist turns off the lights and she's still on her phone.... and won't leave. Uhhh what? Then she's like, "oh you're closing soon? Let me get a few more things" what? Woman.... what? she then loses her child who is next door in the clinic and I had already locked and bared the doors, but Noooooooo her child is too stupid and retarded to go outside and wait, he HAS to come through those connecting doors so I had to unbar it and unlock it so her child can walk slowly over. Wow, thanks lady, I just stayed overtime 20 minutes.

Today is the last Friday of the month, and we got free KFC, it was okay. I also received some good news, I got a $0.25 raise, but I got no one to share it with, because everyone around me won't care anyway. I'm stuck in my room alone doing homework and studying because everyone is too inconsiderate to think about my feelings around here.

Biggest Pet Peeve Ever

Honestly, my biggest pet peeve ever is when people touch it take my stuff without asking. I don't like it but I will not say anything when people touuch and take my stuff but I still know where they are. However, when peoplle take my stuff and I can't find them then that's too much. I don't care about my other pet peeves but this one is the biggest one ever. I get so upset when people touch my stufff without asking and assume it's okay. No, no it's not okay. It's called basic manners, "I knew you'd say no if I asked" some people say. Then why the **** would you take it anyway then, I hate stupid people. They piss me off and people who take my things with no permission are no better. I hate all you stupid people and I hope some day the world can wipe them out with natural selection. Joking? I dunno >.> but seriously.... =( I feel so upset everyday now, it's not even funny.

When People Rely on You

From the title of this entry, I'm sure you have a basic idea of what I'm going to say. First of all, I have no problem with people relying on me; however, there is and should be a limit to how much someone relies on you and you don't usually notice at first that someone is relying on you too much until it's too late. As many university students know, the last few weeks of school before the finals are probably one of the busiest, because profs are trying to get all the material taught and making sure their students are ready for their exams. This week for me is exceptionally busy because I had a korean listening test yesterday, I have to get my readings for east asian studies done so I can start my essay, I have a korean oral exam tomorrow and a psych research paper due on Thursday. Obviously, I was hoping to get all this done with flying colours, however, when I got home last night after class. I found a pile of paperwork for 'me' to do because my aunt is english illiterate and apparently cannot fill out her own medication claim forms.... here I'm thinking "what?" Because she had left me an old copy and said to" just copy the format of this one" okay, first of all, if you're capable of filling your own claim form then get off your lazy butt and fill it yourself. I don't have time to fill out all your claim forms.... I've filled out three for her in the past year, but I didn't mind them cause I was not as busy and stressed as I am now. This time, she wasn't even asking, it was an order. She just dropped it off and said she'd come pick it up tomorrow and it better be done. "What?" She came as she said she would today and I'm like omfg I hate this.

Not only that, a certain someone, has been borrowing my notes like more than six times cause she and her boyfriend are always skipping classes. At first I was like okay, then as she asked more and more I'm starting to get pissed off. Like.... she didn't even return my last notes and asked for new ones. Now I'm missing and entire chapter worth of notes and I feel so upset everyday. Right before the second midterm, this person asked me to send her the questions on the site where you purchase a code to log on, it's similar to the math, stats, econ, and pysch ones. If you know what I mean, and like, dude with the way she worded things, I thought she meant the review the prof put on the class website, that made me really pissed off already, what kind of moron can't go online in the class website to download the review sheet? So I went "whatever" and sent it to her. Not even a second later, she calls me and says "YOU SENT ME THE WRONG ONE!!!!" okay WOMAN I'm NOT obligated to send you ANYTHING, don't come asking me two days before the exam to send you freaking 55 questions that won't work unless it's print screened for each and every question. NO, just no. I waste so much time on these people, and sometimes I ask myself, why do I bother. Why do I bother putting on a mask that doesn't show how upset and pissed off I am, and why can I not say no? I sometimes, wish I was a complete B**** so then I could refuse someone whenever I wanted. =(

Such a Deep Anime

I just finished watching this anime called "Listen to Me Girls, I Am Your Father!" or directly is "Listen to Your Daddy!" Now you may wonder, wth why did you click on an anime with such a name. I just had a gut feeling it would be good, I mean you can really trust a girl's gut feelings. Indeed this anime was very good. It was about this main character boy who's a college student but when he was young his parents died and his sister took the responsibility to raise him so they can be together. Now that he's a college student and his sister's married and has three kids, the asked him to look after the kids for a few days while they're on a trip and the plane they were riding crashed and there were no survivors. The family wanted to split the kids up and have different parts of the family take them in, but the guy decided to take them all under his care so they can be together. This really shows a lot of courage and responsibility. It also show's how people who do not have money to spend like water actually care about their money spending habits.

It really really ticks me off when kids who don't even know how to earn their own money yet can spend their parents' money like water, I'm serious, this one guy in my grade 8 class was all "my shirt was $500 and my vest is $700 don't even talk about my jeans, they're like $600" like wth, is it that cool to be spending your parents money like water? I mean he's not even from a rich family either, his family runs a chinese restaurant and they have to pay employers, work day to night, do all these calculations I mean running a family restaurant isn't all fun and games, it's hard work. And seriously, how practical is it to spend $500 on a freaking shirt. I can buy at LEAST 100 shirts with that kind of money. Like I'm not dirt poor but I don't waste money like that. Kids who don't earn their own money with their own hard work and sweat won't understand the hardship of needing to save up. $500 can buy at least two months worth of groceries. And blowing it off on just ONE shirt that you're only going to wear a couple of times just isn't worth it.

Going back into how the anime plays into this, the average class family in the anime went from average class to pretty poor. They realized they can't be picky about food because that food is actually quite expensive and if they don't eat it, it'll just be thrown out and it's such a waste of money. Kids realize how to manage their money and not just blow it off on stuff that are obviously overpriced and learn to live together happily while helping each other out when in need. This anime really made me think and open my eyes to something. Life can really change within a snap of fingers, and instead of feeling sorry for yourself, you need to do something to change it. I mean, if life is already at it's worse, it can only get better right? But hey, you gotta do something yourself for it to get better, things don't just come and go. You need to work for it. The characters all working so hard for each other really makes me feel like I should work harder, instead of wasting time doing nothing and being useless.

P.S Don't you kinda hate it when there are people that literally do NOTHING BUT mope about how miserable their life is? Like isn't it better to DO SOMETHING about it, then trying to get sympathy from others? I mean I got a friend who literally texts me nothing but, "Hey Sylvia, what are you doing? I'm doing nothing, Life sucks. I'm so miserable" I'm not even kidding, everyday if not every two days.............. I"m being very serious!! >_< yeah, anyway until next time!! xP

People Want What They Don't Have

I've noticed over time, people want anything they don't have but they don't realize they have something someone else wants because they have it. I'm not just talking about clothes or other inanimate objects, I mean ANYTHING. I use to have a friend who's weight is pretty average and I'd say is fairly healthy, but what does she WANT? To be skinnier, while at the same time, my other friend who is severely (not that severely but getting there) underweight wanted sooooooo much to gain weight. The two girls, want something they both don't have. The girl who is really underweight wanting to gain weight I can understand, but her way of wanting is like being jealous of people that are normal while she's in the process. Wouldn't it be a better process if she didn't care about other people at that time and instead of being jealous focus on gaining weight? And that girl who's average weight, should be happy she's healthy, not upset and jealous of those anorexic skinny to the bone girls, get what I mean? People always want what they don't have. The list can go on, like freedom, if anyone has watched "I'm not stupid" or the chinese name 小孩不笨 I think I might have wrote it wrong but yes it's a chinese movie, It's about two families, one is a poor family and one is a rich family, The parents in the poor family have all the time in the world to spend with their kids and their kids don't like it and want freedom, while the parents in the rich family are spending so much time working to earn money for the family to live comfortably, the kids feel lonely and too free and they want their parents to spare some time for them. This is a very good example of wanting what you don't have, there's nothing wrong with wanting a parents love or wanting more freedom, but why not just embrace what you have and try to get the most out of it? Not like anything you do will change anything.

Also, I've read plenty of manga and watched lots of anime where smart people with photographic memory and learns fast always have people jealous of them, while those smart people are jealous of the normal people. The normal people want to be smart and learn fast so life is "too" easy for them, but the smart people want to have a fun life and have fun learning instead of you know, getting everything in one go and nothing is exciting anymore because you just know you'll get it after learning it once. People should look at what they have, see why people are jealous of what they have and start to live and like what they were born with. Nothing wrong with being naturally smart, make good use of it, be a doctor, do something useful for the world. There's nothing wrong with being average either, make it worthwhile to do something and treasure the experience of being successful because you're average. I myself am quite average, I'm even frustrated about getting into business this year, but I will keep trying, I'll look for some courses I want to learn and will have fun learning. It's all about what you want to think, if you can convince yourself this is fun, then it's fun. People are always going "I hate math, because it's hard and I don't understand" well, if you convinced yourself it's fun and tried to understand it through hard work, I really don't think you'd be saying that anymore, right?

What I meant to say through this post is, people should really embrace themselves than be someone they're not. You may have something someone that has something you want wants. Someone could be jealous of you while you're being jealous of them. So instead of just being jealous of each other, live with what you've got and make the best out of life. You have to live whether you're smiling or frowning, would you rather be living life with a smile or living life with a frown? It's all in your choice.

What a Rude Sales Lady

Wow, so much for customer service nowadays, there was such a rude sales lady I ran into today. I dunno about anyone else. But if there's nobody around the change room and some rooms are open and others are not. Then I'd assume you go into a room that's open. The lady was all "next time, ask for a room" and well excuse me, where the poo (refraining from swearing for the sake of my friend) where you for me to ask. And may I ask why some rooms were left open and unattended. Also, why would you throw the goods you sell on the floor by mistake, I mean people buy that stuff dude. You're making it filthy and disgusting by throwing it over the shelf and on the ground and leaving it there. What the poo =.= her attitude to customers is so rude. I swear if karma is real she'd be fired >> I feel so mean saying this but, I feel disgusted breathing the same air as people like that. I mean you're a sales lady, at least have SOME manners, really. Don't you ever learn anything in school. Her tone of voice is so rude omg. I should just stop thinking about it and not waste my time.


Anyway, I got a new watch today >w< cause my old one broke, and the one an uncle gave me is too big for my wrist Dx so yeah.... I got one that was on sale :P that's why I went out or a whilw my friend :D who should know I'm talking to you hehe :) I like to rant a lot xP. I wonder why the stores close at 5 but the mall closes at 6.... doesn't make sense to me..... and now I gotta study hard for finals xP let's all study hard together! :D

Best of luck to us all~
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